She was
sitting in a coffee shop near the sea side. There was cool breeze coming from
the sea. She had ordered latte her usual but today was not a usual day, she should
have ordered black coffee. She needs all the caffeine to make her feel strong
and confident. It all depends on how she put forward her case. She has the capability
she told herself. She can do it. Everything is going to go the way she wants it. She will
make it happen. Easy said than done she thought to herself with a little smile.
Here comes
her latte, and with it comes her subject of confusion. She was seeing him after
a gap of a year. He was somebody who she wanted to know better but somehow the distances
have grown between them. He was the one who has been in her dreams for long, she
sometimes think that he has become her obsession. She was getting fed up of the
way her brain and her heart was working. She had never thought she would be in
such a situation.
So one
night after a really intimate dream where the hero of the dream looked a lot
like the man sitting in front of her she had reached a decision. She had
decided that it’s time to take action. This has to go forward and in a positive
way. She has to overcome her fear and see what the future has in-store for her,
maybe there is a rainbow in her horizon but she will never know until she get
wet in the rain. She had been avoiding it for long, everyday she makes a
decision and everyday she finds an excuse to postpone it but not today. She
will do it and do it with flair she thought and anyways why the hell should she
not do it. It's for his benefit too. He will never find anybody who will be
that crazy. She can make him see the light can't she, yeah right comes a voice from her inside saying 'once you see the light'. Enough! She shouts to her conscience, major
problem of having a super sensitive conscience is that you keep thinking to
yourself and making a molehill out of nothing. This has to stop, she is
thinking too much and that is causing an adverse effect in her mind. She now
knows what is wrong with her, after watching a movie she has realised that she
too has a Meena Kumari complex and it can't go away until she tell this to her
Matru.
Meanwhile
she realizes that her Matru is sitting there with a look of somebody who is
wondering what to do with the crazy woman sitting in front of her; well we will
tell him what crazy is she thinks to herself. She has a reputation to keep after
all.
So she asks
him what is going in his mind right now. Why is he not saying something, why is
he not talking to her, why is he not ordering something for himself, why is he
sitting on that chair, why is he not sitting on this chair? Anything to
postpone the real thing she thinks. He is answering all her stupid questions
but what to do when her mind is not working to ask an intelligent question.
That's the problem, her mind stops working when she is with him and her heart
goes in an overdrive around him. She has heard many people say that women are
good at multi tasking but she thinks that with her it’s either heart or mind at
a time, especially when she is with him. She prides herself on her intelligence
but when she is with him she prides herself on her stupidity.
Well whatever,
she thinks it’s all just the way it is and she can't help it and she has
stopped bothering about it. She heard him ask her why she had called him here. Well
what to tell him? Tell him, tell him, tell him..... "Well I called you to
tell you"... She says... "Well hmmm it’s like I want to like... Ohh
here is your coffee" uff she is hopeless. Anyways let's try again,"
well I called you here 'cause I want you to say something to me". when did that happen? she wanted him to say something to her? "What? "He
asks Well she herself don't know what. “Well it’s like I think this is well may be we should like you and me
maybe you should ask me out for a movie? “She said, damn where did that come from she
thinks, she doesn't want to go for a movie. Well how can she make his
thick skull see what she wants. Other guys just get it in one hi but he just don't get it or may be just don't want to see. Well what to do? Ok here is the thing may be she should just spill it
out. Ok fine... " Oh not the movie, Actually i wanted to ask you something, I wanted to ask you well i wanted it may sound a little weird and may be a little scandalous but i think you should know that i really want you......" she says feeling triumphant and looks at him to see his reaction and after seeing all confusion on his face couldn't stop herself from adding further " to go somewhere with me" coward she thought to herself. " Where" he asks, being all confused. “Well will you come with me to, to ummm, well to my, i mean for an evening to the umm ......................my ........... Dentist" she says
finally. Damn, Damn and Damn...where did the dentist come from??? This is pathetic.... I just cant do it, she says Well there is always tomorrow she thinks to herself being
ultra optimistic. Tomorrow for sure :)..
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